Today is the eighth anniversary of the death of my big sister, Julie. So many questions still swirl around in my mind. What exactly happened? I still have no closure since I don't know what happened.
July 3, 2003. Summer School had just ended and as I knew she would Julie called to ask me how things had gone. She and Daddy always remembered things like that and checked in with me. She was excited about the new place she and Damon were moving into and wanted me to come and stay. "Bring Karly and stay with me. I have the guest room all ready for you" My thoughts were there was no way I could take my Karly into the house with her two dogs and two cats. Karly would freakout!!! I wasn't ready to do anything yet, I wanted a break now that summer was here for me. I also didn't want to drive on July 4. So I told her soon. That was the last time I talked to her.
July 5, 2003. Mother called that afternoon to tell me Julie had fallen down the stairs at her house and had called Mother for help. Mother said," What am I supposed to do, wheel up the street in my wheelchair?" Julie gave her two phone numbers to call people to come and help her. Apparently both people showed up and took Julie to South Barry County Hospital. It gets fuzzy here in the telling of the story. She had it seems three broken bones two of one and one of the other. Ribs and toes are all I know. Hospital sees her and releases her with medication and she goes back to the house where she was alone. Damon, who is a nurse as well, was on a traveling nurse assignment on the other side of the state. Julie and he had been taking traveling assignments and nursing all over the country since their marriage. That is until Daddy became so ill and I needed my big sister to help with our parents. Julie had been having some more health issues and was not able to take another assignment yet, so she had stayed behind in Cassville.
July 6, 2003. The woman from the church who had helped Julie the day before had said she would make sure that Julie was ok and had meals. She had stopped by and found Julie in her night gown, which was on wrong side out and backward, speaking nonsence basically. She said Julie was talking out of her head. There was a frying pan in the middle of the kitchen floor. She called Damon, who said to have an ambulance take Julie to St. John's hospital in Springfield. He would be in Springfield as quickly as he could make arrangements with the hospital where he was working. Julie is admitted to St. John's Springfield.
July 7, 2003. Julie seemed to be making better sence when speaking. Damon had not eaten and was probably exhausted. He told Julie he was going to go across the street and get a Subway sandwich. She told him to go she would be fine. As he was leaving a nurse was going into Julie's room to check vitals. He was gone for not a long time, but when he returned he found Julie's room full of staff. She had been found in respitory arrest. She was blue around her mouth. They put her on a ventilatior. She was in a coma from that point on. He was told there were two types of brain damage present after tests were run, but the neurologist said her prognosis was good.
July 8, 2003. Damon calls me and asks me to come to the hospital. Honestly, I didn't believe it was bad. Julie had become a hypocrondiac like our Grandmother Mathews. She was constantly telling April and I about some illness that was going to kill her, yet she quickly seemed to forget that illness and talk of another. I took my time going to Springfield. I even went to Walmart and got my ears pierced for the third time on each lobe to be ornery to Julie. When i walked back into the ICU room she was in, I really expected her to sit up and say, "Hi Sissy!" What I saw, well it was shocking. Her eyes were partly open, but she wasn't there. I called April and Kent. I told them it's real, you need to come as quicky as you can.
The next few days I would travel to Springfield each day and spend hours at the hospital.
It was the weekend when we finally got different news. Everyday we were told that she would make a full recovery by the neurologist. The weekend doctor told us a different story. He said the outlook was very grim, that she would never be the same, if, she ever came out of her coma.
Julie being the nurse that she was had a four page advanced directive. It was very specific as to her wishes. She didn't want to be kept alive on life support. Even though the people she had listed as the decision makers were Damon, April, and Kent, they all agreed I should have a voice too. We sat down as a family and talked about what Julie would want. The very hard conclusion was that we had to let her go, it was what she wanted.
July 15, 2003. The day that we had decided to let her go. I went in and talked to her for a very long time. Julie had always looked at me as a competitor, I don't know really know why because she had so much more than I did, but for some reason she did. I tried my best to kick in her competive nature with me. I said, "Are you really gonna just give up and let me win? I'm gonna be the one to see Lily grow up. I'm gonna be the one to see April get married. I'm gonna be the one who will always be here for them. Is that what you want Julie? Are you just giving up?" I sobbed. I couldn't believe this was happening. It hadn't even been 18 months yet since we lost Daddy. I told her how much it meant to me that we had been with Daddy at the very end. How proud I was of her. I talked and talked. At 6 pm, with a waiting room full of friends and family, the ventilator was disconnected. Julie began breathing on her own. She was determined I guess to show us one last time she was a strong willed woman!
July 18, 2003. April had been staying with Julie in the hospital room that evening until Damon got back from Cassville. Kent had called her and said come with us to Chuckie Cheeses. We are gonna take Lily. I spoke to Damon and he is already around Monett. She won't be alone for long. So April went. While she was alone, just that short amount of time, Julie died. I don't know if April has ever forgiven herself for leaving her alone, but knowing Julie, she held on until April was gone.
That's why to this day I have so many questions about what happened.
July 3, 2003. Summer School had just ended and as I knew she would Julie called to ask me how things had gone. She and Daddy always remembered things like that and checked in with me. She was excited about the new place she and Damon were moving into and wanted me to come and stay. "Bring Karly and stay with me. I have the guest room all ready for you" My thoughts were there was no way I could take my Karly into the house with her two dogs and two cats. Karly would freakout!!! I wasn't ready to do anything yet, I wanted a break now that summer was here for me. I also didn't want to drive on July 4. So I told her soon. That was the last time I talked to her.
July 5, 2003. Mother called that afternoon to tell me Julie had fallen down the stairs at her house and had called Mother for help. Mother said," What am I supposed to do, wheel up the street in my wheelchair?" Julie gave her two phone numbers to call people to come and help her. Apparently both people showed up and took Julie to South Barry County Hospital. It gets fuzzy here in the telling of the story. She had it seems three broken bones two of one and one of the other. Ribs and toes are all I know. Hospital sees her and releases her with medication and she goes back to the house where she was alone. Damon, who is a nurse as well, was on a traveling nurse assignment on the other side of the state. Julie and he had been taking traveling assignments and nursing all over the country since their marriage. That is until Daddy became so ill and I needed my big sister to help with our parents. Julie had been having some more health issues and was not able to take another assignment yet, so she had stayed behind in Cassville.
July 6, 2003. The woman from the church who had helped Julie the day before had said she would make sure that Julie was ok and had meals. She had stopped by and found Julie in her night gown, which was on wrong side out and backward, speaking nonsence basically. She said Julie was talking out of her head. There was a frying pan in the middle of the kitchen floor. She called Damon, who said to have an ambulance take Julie to St. John's hospital in Springfield. He would be in Springfield as quickly as he could make arrangements with the hospital where he was working. Julie is admitted to St. John's Springfield.
July 7, 2003. Julie seemed to be making better sence when speaking. Damon had not eaten and was probably exhausted. He told Julie he was going to go across the street and get a Subway sandwich. She told him to go she would be fine. As he was leaving a nurse was going into Julie's room to check vitals. He was gone for not a long time, but when he returned he found Julie's room full of staff. She had been found in respitory arrest. She was blue around her mouth. They put her on a ventilatior. She was in a coma from that point on. He was told there were two types of brain damage present after tests were run, but the neurologist said her prognosis was good.
July 8, 2003. Damon calls me and asks me to come to the hospital. Honestly, I didn't believe it was bad. Julie had become a hypocrondiac like our Grandmother Mathews. She was constantly telling April and I about some illness that was going to kill her, yet she quickly seemed to forget that illness and talk of another. I took my time going to Springfield. I even went to Walmart and got my ears pierced for the third time on each lobe to be ornery to Julie. When i walked back into the ICU room she was in, I really expected her to sit up and say, "Hi Sissy!" What I saw, well it was shocking. Her eyes were partly open, but she wasn't there. I called April and Kent. I told them it's real, you need to come as quicky as you can.
The next few days I would travel to Springfield each day and spend hours at the hospital.
It was the weekend when we finally got different news. Everyday we were told that she would make a full recovery by the neurologist. The weekend doctor told us a different story. He said the outlook was very grim, that she would never be the same, if, she ever came out of her coma.
Julie being the nurse that she was had a four page advanced directive. It was very specific as to her wishes. She didn't want to be kept alive on life support. Even though the people she had listed as the decision makers were Damon, April, and Kent, they all agreed I should have a voice too. We sat down as a family and talked about what Julie would want. The very hard conclusion was that we had to let her go, it was what she wanted.
July 15, 2003. The day that we had decided to let her go. I went in and talked to her for a very long time. Julie had always looked at me as a competitor, I don't know really know why because she had so much more than I did, but for some reason she did. I tried my best to kick in her competive nature with me. I said, "Are you really gonna just give up and let me win? I'm gonna be the one to see Lily grow up. I'm gonna be the one to see April get married. I'm gonna be the one who will always be here for them. Is that what you want Julie? Are you just giving up?" I sobbed. I couldn't believe this was happening. It hadn't even been 18 months yet since we lost Daddy. I told her how much it meant to me that we had been with Daddy at the very end. How proud I was of her. I talked and talked. At 6 pm, with a waiting room full of friends and family, the ventilator was disconnected. Julie began breathing on her own. She was determined I guess to show us one last time she was a strong willed woman!
July 18, 2003. April had been staying with Julie in the hospital room that evening until Damon got back from Cassville. Kent had called her and said come with us to Chuckie Cheeses. We are gonna take Lily. I spoke to Damon and he is already around Monett. She won't be alone for long. So April went. While she was alone, just that short amount of time, Julie died. I don't know if April has ever forgiven herself for leaving her alone, but knowing Julie, she held on until April was gone.
That's why to this day I have so many questions about what happened.
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