Bullies. We have all met at least one in our lives. At one time or another, we may have even been one. A bully can be a person you know or someone you have never met. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions, ages, socio-economic status ,and may be either male or female.
A bully is a person, who desires to make another person feel badly about his/herself. He enjoy tearing a person down, especially when an audience is present. She delights in the torment of another person. The power that is felt is intoxicating and honestly it's all about having that power. Bullies have deep reaching issues in their own lives most generally, something that makes them lash out at another person whom they perceive as weak. It helps them to escape, if you will, for a time from self. As long as they are thinking about the other person, the focus is off of self.
A bully has many tools in his "toolbox" that he will pull out at varies times and places. Embarassment is a favorite! Shame is another. The tears are a huge bonus. Anything is fair game, even if it's very personal. Place and opportunity are key to the bully. Sometimes planning makes the event even more pleasurable to our bully.
A bully used to have to be in the same place as the victim, but no longer. Thanks to electronic technology, a bully can even be in an entirely different country. Cyber bullying is a growing concern. Most people have a cell phone, a computer, some way to receive the latest information on the flavor of the moment for the bully. The more people that can be drawn in the better.
For some, the relief of not being 'picked on" makes the joke even funnier. Which is very sad. The bully loves to have her ego stroked by the audience, who are all relieved to not be the object of her scorn. Most of us are too afraid of the tables being turned on us to stand up for the person being bullied. That would essentially put that bullseye right onto our own back, and no one wants that.
Honestly, a bully is someone who feels so badly about himself, that he makes fun of someone else in order to boost his feelings of not measuring up. She wants to be the center of attention and doesn't know how to go about something in a positive way. The bully really is very insecure.
I was bullied as a child, a teenager, and even as an adult. I was the first person to get glasses in my class at school, so i was' four eye's. I got braces in middle school, so i had something else new and different. I got to be' metal mouth'. I have always been short, so 'shorty'. My weight has always been a struggle, so' fatty'. I know what it feels like to be laughed at and teased. Having everyone look at you is horrible, but it's not the end of the world.
The way to stop a bully is very simple really. Laugh along. Yes, that is right. When you are made the butt of his joke, laugh long and loud. Maybe even say something to affirm her humor. Don't let your hurt and anger show. Save your tears for a time you are all alone. Never let them see a weakness. It's no fun when the intended victim is not being a victim. The power is gone. One more thing, don't walk away from a bully with your head down. Look straight ahead, head held high, maybe even shaking your head and laughing at what just happened to make it appear that you enjoyed it. The huge drawback here is while the current victim is then let off the hook, another will soon be found and the cycle will start again.
If you ever are a part of the crowd and a bully is targeting someone else, be a hero, stand up and don't laugh along. Even though it may not seem like the popular thing to do, tell the bully that you don't find she is doing right. You may be surprised that when you take that step out on that limb that others may join you. They were just not brave enough to make the first step alone. In my opinon, the only way to stop the bully permanently is to get to know the real person. Talk, share, take chances and risks, but find out the true story if at all possible. Spend time and energy. Don't give up. We all deserve a chance to change and grow. Together, we can stop bullies.
A bully is a person, who desires to make another person feel badly about his/herself. He enjoy tearing a person down, especially when an audience is present. She delights in the torment of another person. The power that is felt is intoxicating and honestly it's all about having that power. Bullies have deep reaching issues in their own lives most generally, something that makes them lash out at another person whom they perceive as weak. It helps them to escape, if you will, for a time from self. As long as they are thinking about the other person, the focus is off of self.
A bully has many tools in his "toolbox" that he will pull out at varies times and places. Embarassment is a favorite! Shame is another. The tears are a huge bonus. Anything is fair game, even if it's very personal. Place and opportunity are key to the bully. Sometimes planning makes the event even more pleasurable to our bully.
A bully used to have to be in the same place as the victim, but no longer. Thanks to electronic technology, a bully can even be in an entirely different country. Cyber bullying is a growing concern. Most people have a cell phone, a computer, some way to receive the latest information on the flavor of the moment for the bully. The more people that can be drawn in the better.
For some, the relief of not being 'picked on" makes the joke even funnier. Which is very sad. The bully loves to have her ego stroked by the audience, who are all relieved to not be the object of her scorn. Most of us are too afraid of the tables being turned on us to stand up for the person being bullied. That would essentially put that bullseye right onto our own back, and no one wants that.
Honestly, a bully is someone who feels so badly about himself, that he makes fun of someone else in order to boost his feelings of not measuring up. She wants to be the center of attention and doesn't know how to go about something in a positive way. The bully really is very insecure.
I was bullied as a child, a teenager, and even as an adult. I was the first person to get glasses in my class at school, so i was' four eye's. I got braces in middle school, so i had something else new and different. I got to be' metal mouth'. I have always been short, so 'shorty'. My weight has always been a struggle, so' fatty'. I know what it feels like to be laughed at and teased. Having everyone look at you is horrible, but it's not the end of the world.
The way to stop a bully is very simple really. Laugh along. Yes, that is right. When you are made the butt of his joke, laugh long and loud. Maybe even say something to affirm her humor. Don't let your hurt and anger show. Save your tears for a time you are all alone. Never let them see a weakness. It's no fun when the intended victim is not being a victim. The power is gone. One more thing, don't walk away from a bully with your head down. Look straight ahead, head held high, maybe even shaking your head and laughing at what just happened to make it appear that you enjoyed it. The huge drawback here is while the current victim is then let off the hook, another will soon be found and the cycle will start again.
If you ever are a part of the crowd and a bully is targeting someone else, be a hero, stand up and don't laugh along. Even though it may not seem like the popular thing to do, tell the bully that you don't find she is doing right. You may be surprised that when you take that step out on that limb that others may join you. They were just not brave enough to make the first step alone. In my opinon, the only way to stop the bully permanently is to get to know the real person. Talk, share, take chances and risks, but find out the true story if at all possible. Spend time and energy. Don't give up. We all deserve a chance to change and grow. Together, we can stop bullies.
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