I had the world when you were here.
I had love and laughter, now I have tears.

I had hope.
I had dreams.

I was happy.
I was in love.

The world was beautiful and so was I.
The world was good again.

Then you went away.
I'll never be the same.

With each passing day
I become more afraid.

I try to reach out,
but I fail again and again.

Closing myself off seems like the best solution.

My heart is broken, shattered, beyond repair.
I don't know what to do or where to turn
Who to trust

I want to give up

me

what's wrong with me?
why does everyone leave?

am that I hideous?
am that horrible?

I try so hard
I give so much, but it's never enough

One look at me and they change their mind and run
What have I done?

why do I even try?

fatal flaw

never good enough
always second best

time and again wondering what happened this time

lies
broken promises
disappointments

what fatal flaw do I possess to make this keep happening???

Moon and Stars

The same moon and stars shine,
no matter how near or far
we are apart.

I look at the sky
and I wonder where you are,
if you are safe
if you are well
if you are happy.

I find the brightest star
and wish to be where you are.
But just like fairy tales the wish never comes true.

I wanna be where you are.

Do you do the same???

the encounter

It had been the week from Hell.  Had it really just been a week since her entire world had come crashing down on her head?  She had been blindsided when her husband, who she had been so deeply in love with had announced, "I don't love you anymore.  I haven't loved you for a very long time.  I have been having an affair for over a year.  I'm leaving you, getting a divorce, and marrying her.  You can have it all, except the dogs, I'm taking them with me."  Then he had turned and walked out of the home that they had made together.  She was too stunned to even cry at first, but then as she looked around at the rooms that they had decorated together and at the two sleeping dogs, their children, the tears had come in torrents.  That had been last Wednesday.

Driving home from work that Thursday night she decided I'm not cooking, screw it.  She decided she was entitled to some comfort food damn it, so she pulled into the parking lot of a place where she knew she could find some good comfort in food and drink.  The parking lot seemed a little fuller than usual on a week night, but not packed.  She parked and as she walked to the door she noted the music was a bit louder then it usually was and actually seemed live?  Opening the door, she walked in and found that indeed there was a live band tonight.  She wasn't sure she had ever known this place to have live music, but she was by no means a regular.  There were a few open tables and some spots at the bar.  She picked a table off to the side and walked to it.

 Picking up the menu to make her selections, she found herself looking toward the stage.  A band of five musicians playing a bluesy sounding music covered the small stage she had never noticed before.  All men playing guitars, drums, and keyboard were standing and playing a really good sound.  Her eyes scanned the members of the band stopping at one man.  He seemed to be the lead singer and guitarist.  His voice was sexy with a slight rasp as he sang.  He seemed lost in the words of the song he was singing and playing.  She noticed a bit of chest hair at the neck of his shirt, how his jeans seemed to fit just right.  She had not realized she was staring until the waitress appeared and asked for her order.  Startled she looked up, quickly placed her order, and turned back to the man on stage.  It was as if he knew she was staring at him because their eyes met and a small smile played at the corners of his lips.  Quickly she looked away and scolded herself for thinking this man could notice her in this crowd of people.  She couldn't help though looking back at him.  He still seemed to be looking only at her and she felt her body react to this attention from this man whom she didn't know.  She felt her nipples harden and a thrill run through her body.  Where was this coming from she wondered?   The waitress brought her drink and she folded her arms across her breasts to hide her excitement. 

The man called a break and the band members left the stage.  He had noticed this woman and he was on his way to talk to her. 

She didn't realize he was beside her at the table until he spoke.  "May I join you for a bit?" he asked.  She couldn't seem to find her voice so she nodded her consent.  "Enjoying the set?" he asked.  Again she could only nod her head.  His nearness had caused her nipples to harden even more and she felt other reactions in her body that she had never felt before with a stranger.  Finally finding her voice she said, "You have a really good sound.  Do you play here often?"  OMG his smile!!!  It made her insides melt.  "Our first time here actually," he said.  She followed his gaze as it fell on her very noticeably hard nipples.  She bit her bottom lip, but it was too late to try to hide that the fact from him that she was a bit turned on by his presence.   The waitress brought a drink to him, but they neither seemed to notice.  The table was small, the chairs close to each other.  Under the table he reached across and placed his hand on her thigh.  She jumped at the touch, but the feeling that shot through her body was downright delicious.  She looked into his eyes and saw them alight with passion and lust.  She moved her chair a bit closer allowing him to touch her more closely.   He moved his hand a bit higher on her leg.  He leaned across the table and quietly said, "Why don't we go back stage?"

Without thought or hesitation she rose from her chair and followed him back stage.  He led her to a room that was reserved for the band members.  Closed the door and pushed her up against it.  Within seconds they were locked in a passionate kiss, hands quickly exploring each other's bodies.  As he kissed her she felt his hands lifting her skirt and beginning to explore the elastic of her panties.  His kisses moved from her lips to her neck as his hand slipped inside her panties.  She gasped as his fingers found her wetness.  Her hands in his hair as his fingers found their way inside her.  The moans escaping her lips were becoming louder as her hand found the bulge in his jeans.  So hard, throbbing in her hand, she wanted this man, whom she had just met as she had never wanted anyone before.  Her fingers began to work the button at the top of his jeans.  She yanked down the zipper of his jeans and reached inside.  Locked together as if by a magnet the two moved quickly to the couch in the room.  Laying her down he quickly removed her panties as she pulled his jeans down.  Not even pausing for an instant, he was inside her.  Both gasping as they came together, their lust over took them and in a frenzy they began to fuck as if they were both the last people on earth and it was up to them to carry on civilization.   He opened her blouse and pushed her bra out of the way as he claimed one of her breasts in his mouth.  She wrapped her legs around him as they continued their frenzied fuck.  Almost as if animals with the unleashed passion for the other stranger they moved.
She felt the beautiful wave of orgasm begin to wash over her as he shot his hot stream of cum inside her body.

Both spent they laid still connected for a brief time as a knock at the door announced he was needed back on stage.  Quickly rising they both dressed.  With a smile he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and led her back to the main room of the bar. 

He returned to the stage and performing.  She to her table where she ate her waiting meal. 

She finished her meal, paid the bill, and left without a word. 

As if

You vanish without a word for months
Then come back as if nothing has changed
You expect me to fall at your feet

As if

You make excuses
That all fall flat
You expect me to just say nothing

As if

You think I'm stupid
You think I'm desperate
You think I'll just open my arms

As if

You think that little of me
You think I think so little of myself
I'll just cave

As if

Think again

Two long time friends each in pain
Comfort found in talking and sharing
Healing was starting
Then you went away
No explanation
Not a word
Just here one minute and gone the next
Why does everyone always leave?